Why are we going to attack Iraq? Because we can't find bin Laden. Osama bin Laden is alive and well, thanks very much, and Bush knows he's not going to get even a passing chance to get this guy. It would be like winning the lottery. Bin Laden is a moving target, a stealthy target, a well-trained (CIA) and well-beloved target that is heavily protected with layers of obfuscation and hardened, fanatical security.

On the other hand, Saddam is a fixed target. He's not going anywhere. He pretty much has to stay and fight, hiding as he can in and around Baghdad.

So when it looks like the American public will start to see Bush as a frustrated loser in his search for bin Laden, we ratchet up the situation with Iraq to hysterical proportions, thereby drawing everyone's attention off the fact that a year and a half later, we are actually *further* from finding bin Laden than we were just after 9/11. Forget the rest of that crap about "Weapons of Mass Destruction", a term coined by Bush's entourage. This is about points in polls and getting reelected, nothing more.

So Rumsfield is so damned determined to drop bombs on Iraq that he's attempting to goad our allies into backing us. He called Germany and France the "Old Europe", as opposed to the "New Eurupe" that contains the former Soviet bloc countries. The implication being that the opinions of our allies doesn't reflect the opinions of the modern day international community.

Which of course pissed off France and Germany.

Now to be frank, France has an irritating tendency to err on the side of extreme caution. Last week during a soccer match, the opposing team scored 3 unanswered points in a row, and France surrendered.

Ok, I made that up. It was 4 unanswered points.

NO! I'm just kidding! France would *never* roll over that easy. I mean, not recently anyway...

Ok, I've had my fun. The point is, France and Germany were rightfully irritated at Rumsfield's suggestion that they are out of touch. Rumsfield is the one that's out of touch. This bastard is so determined to put our troops in the line of fire that he'll say or do whatever it takes. But he's now run roughshod over our allies' toes, and there's a backlash.

This has two effects. First, it makes the U.S. look even more stupid to the other nations of the world. Thanks Don. Second, it makes our chances of going into Iraq with the proper backup that much more unlikely. Oh, it won't stop Donnie and Georgie from having their little war, but it means we'll be on our own doing it. I don't think anything, not even the weapon's inspectors' unanimous declaration that Iraq has nothing that even remotely resembles a large scale weapon, will keep our current executive branch officers from spilling blood.

I'm really glad there wasn't a Rumsfield in the first Continental Congress. The Bill of Rights would have read a bit differently, don't you think? For instance, if the police suspected that you might kill someone, and a search of your house turned up a shotgun, well! You'd get the chair! It's not like we can just march in and arrest Saddam for something similar to a violation of his parole terms. We *have* to kill people to get to him. Is that what you, the American public, really want?

I don't.

Muhammad and Malvo, the latest additions to the U.S.'s homegrown terrorist list, shot their victims using a Bushmaster XM-15 E2S .223 caliber semi-automatic assault rifle. This weapon was recovered by police when they arrested Malvo and Muhammad at a highway rest stop October 24, 2002. The rifle was traced back to Bull's Eye Shooter Supply in Tacoma, Washington. A lawsuit is being filed on behalf of the relatives of the victims by Paul Luvera, a Seattle-based attorney. The suit claims that Bushmaster and its distributors should have stopped doing business with Bull's Eye because audits by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms showed the store routinely lost track of weapons. According to the ATF, at least 238 guns 'disappeared' from Bull's Eye in the last three years alone. The suit states...

Wait a minute... hold on.... What did that say?!

238 guns disappeared from that store in 3 years??!!

A little quick math... That's roughly one gun a WEEK!! Are you serious?! What the -?

Muhammad is as good as cooked, and Malvo too now that the court has cleared the way to try him as an adult. These guys are headed for death row, most assuredly; the rest is formality. But what do we do to the owners of a gun shop that manage to "lose" a gun a week, including a weapon, according to Luvera, "designed for combat use, highly lethal, military copy.... an assault weapon used for sniper purposes," with "no legitimate purposes in terms of hunting, self protection, sports," a weapon that "has a function which represents a unique threat to public safety."

I'm behind that attorney all the way. The Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence is bankrolling this lawsuit, from what I understand. Some of you younger folks might not remember who Brady is. Brady was the man who took a bullet in the head that was intended for former President Ronald Reagan when some nutcase tried to make a place for himself in history. Mr. Brady survived, recovered to a remarkable extent although he is still partially handicapped, and dedicated himself to pushing legislation that limits accessibility to guns. Brady is a hero. The owners of Bull's Eye Shooter Supply are...

Well, being in a uncharacteristically diplomatic mood this morning, let's just say they're horribly negligent, based on what the ATF are reporting, and they are, in my personal opinion, every bit as liable for the deaths of sniper's victims as the snipers themselves.

So the Raiders were given the bum rush yesterday (1/26). Tampa Bay shut Gannon down, the refs were criminally negligent with some of their calls, and the mystery of where the Raiders center was still simmers in the minds of media rats.

But all that is secondary to what happens on the streets of the most scum-filled city on the face of the planet. The weekend before, the Raiders won their division and advanced to the Superbowl. Everyone's happy, right? So what happens? The Oaktown Idiots riot. They vandalize, they burn, they terrorize, they destroy. Well, that makes sense...

So then this weekend, Oakland loses. What do the mental motes in the Other City By The Bay do? They riot. They vandalize, they burn, they terrorize, they destroy.

I'm starting to see a pattern here. Here's my solution:

First, give Gannon the NFL equivalent of putting him out of his misery; give him a job in the head office.

Second, outlaw the Raiders. Exile Al Davis from California forever and sell the Raiders to North Dakota. Goodbye, losers. Goodbye Al. Goodbye Gannon. And most of all, screw you Oakland, and all the losers in it. I worked in Oakland for five years (at SMS in the old Breuners building on Broadway and 22nd, for those that know the city) and while the Oakland hills are beautiful, you could drop a nuke on downtown Oakland and I would celebrate by bringing the marshmallows. I've never been in such a racist city in all my life, and I lived in the Deep South until the age of 15. Forget what you see in movies, the real racists are in Oakland, and all the ones I met were Black. (I use the capitalized variation of the word because racism is a cultural thing in Oakland.)

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, remember the first Iraqi war? There were protest demonstrations in Oakland, but you probably didn't hear much about them. Know why? Because rather than protest the right or wrong of defending a nation we had diplomatic relations with that had been invaded, it turned into a demonstration against, and I quote, "The White Man's War". Yup, they didn't like that we were attacking a country that wasn't white and they screamed loud and long that it would be blacks on the front line. And what happened? The other Arab nations got behind us and it was the Air Force and smart bombs that were on the front line. Do you remember seeing any news shots that showed all black battalions taking on the Iraqis on the ground? Me neither. And to show where their hearts really were, some of the white protestors that joined them during their march through the streets of Oakland got beat up for ... well, probably just for being white. Because that's how Oakland is.

I should probably also add that I once got mugged in Oakland. I didn't like Oakland before it happened, and the busted jaw I got at the hands of 5 cowards just cemented my opinion. Apparently nothing has changed in Oakland.

I like the idea of dangling something really worthwhile in front of those morons and then having it fall through their fingers. And then, to show how much they deserve anything good in life, they go and wreck other people's hard-earned property. Oakland just proves, time and again, why tourists go to San Francisco. Mayor Brown, you'll *never* make Oakland a city worth moving to. To quote a line from Steven King's "Christine": "You can't polish a turd." My wife is a Raiders fan, and I feel really bad for her, but Oakland, you can kiss my....

The Monkey-Faced Frat Boy is doing it again. To us. The Joe and Jane Publics of America. His "economic stimulus program" is primarly designed to aid the rich and corporate and throw pennies at the poor, ignoring the middle class entirely. Come on, folks, exactly who benefits directly from cutting stock dividend taxes? The RICH! How many welfare mothers have a stock portfolio?

And this is supposed to get people to invest in stocks to prop up the businesses. Uh huh. Yeah, that's going to cause me to rush out and throw money into the stock market. That will offset my losses if the stocks tank. Sure.

And those that do have to pay taxes will foot the bill for this package to the tune of $300 billion.

And then there's the average $1133 in tax cuts for middle class families. Great. Except that his package doesn't do anything for putting money back into state coffers, so guess what? States are going to have to raise taxes to make up the shortfall. How much will you and I save? Bupkiss, my dear. Zilcho. And since states must have a balanced budget every year, that means the budget acceptance process will drag out for months again. And when it's over, the middle class and poor will have gotten nothing of value out of it.

Thanks for that, MFFB.

I'm not going to waste a lot of verbage on this topic. Eminem has made a lot of money, he admits in his verse, by giving people what they want. In this case, giving adolescents what they want, which is semi-clever but decidedly unintelligent prose set to catchy beats. A 10th grade dropout could write this stuff. His videos aren't earth shattering, just typical, rehashed, "oops, I just slammed Britney Spears again" and "Moby, you big dork" crapola. Yeah, ok. He had the one video, poorly shot and edited, for "The Way I Am," that didn't spend four and half minutes spouting self-aggrandizement. Oh, wait... Maybe that's it. They're going to pat him on the head for taking almost five minutes out of his day to stop rapping about how great his is and rap instead about oh-poor-Marshall.

Yeah, that must be it...

Entertaining? Sure. Grammy award worthy? I didn't think so, but maybe Grammys aren't that big a deal after all.

Now Avril Lavigne on the other hand... She *rocks*!

Governor Ryan of Illinois, as his term ended in disgrace over a corruption scandal, took one last swing at creating a legacy. This once avid supporter of the death penalty decided to commute the sentences of the entire death row community in Illinois over the outcries of the families of the victims of the affected prisoners. He also pardoned 5 men who claim their confessions were tortured out of them.

Now there are some questions that immediately come to mind. First, can he get away with that? Yup, sure can. By the United States and Illinois Consistutions, he has the power to change sentences handed down by judges and even reverse decisions handed down by a jury.

A less common question would be, did he have any other recourse? Yup, he sure did. In the case of the pardoned men, could just as easily have instructed the Illinois Department of Justice to retry the 5 pardoned men, throwing out their confessions, and any other tainted evidence. Given the remaining evidence, retry the cases and let a jury decide whether the men were actually guilty or framed. That would have been the right thing to do, but Gov. Ryan decided he knew better than anyone else what needed to be done. Perhaps he was trying to send a message to law enforcment officers, something like, "Do your job right or I'll put murderers right back on the street!" Sounds like he's seen too many episodes of Boston Public or something.

As for the men whose sentences were commuted, given the statistics the Governor quoted in regards to numbers of cases verified all the way through the Supreme Court only to be overturned when the accused turned out to be innocent, I have to agree that until the system is adjusted a bit, until obtaining DNA evidence and submitting it becomes a de facto procedure in police and judiciary work, the death penalty may be a level of punishment we can't afford.

RETRACTION: Someone told me that Laci Peterson's husband had turned out to be her killer, and I wrote a scathing piece based on that rumor. I should have known when I couldn't find anything on the news about it. The facts are that he is not a suspect, no body has been recovered, and the case is still open. My sincere apologies for jumping the gun.

The Homeland Security Bill. Ignoring the obvious references to the Nazi regime in the word "Homeland", the title of this bill makes you just feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it? Except that it has so little to do with effectively securing the U.S. from outside aggressors.

Let's take a look at some of its more unsavory clauses, shall we?

• It will limit consumers' ability to sue drug companies if they are liable for producing drugs that harm patients. Does this have ANYTHING TO DO WITH HOMELAND SECURITY?! It was an 11th hour rider that screws, among others, parents whose children are damaged for life and unable to care for themselves when they grow up due to drugs or vaccinations that were not properly tested or were preserved with substances that cause physical and neurological damage. Imagine your kid, bright, beautiful, full of promise, is rendered a fully dependent invalid, and you have no recourse, no means to secure support for that child from the company whose negligence damaged your child. Yeah, this will deter terrorists -- from raising their kids here....
• It combines the NSA, CIA, the Coast Guard, INS, Customs, FEMA, and the Transportation Security Administration into one large department. Now let me get this straight -- we couldn't stop the 9/11 attack when these agencies were separate, so making them larger and more bureaucratic will help? Could we just tie certain portions of their databases together? What an expensive, do nothing measure that was. This, though, is not surprising given the Bush family ties with the CIA. Care to guess what preexisting managers are running the show in this new department, with its new burst of mega-funding?
• And Bush threatened a veto if he couldn't run this agency personally and with sweeping powers to control collective bargaining rights of employees, transfer some money within the department, and structure his own Office of Homeland Security in the White House as he wants. Now, come on! This guy is vastly expanding his own personal powers, and to what end? The Coast Guard is a military unit and the INS and Customs have their own armed agents. Combine these with the CIA and NSA and you have a small, highly skilled, army with an existing license to snoop into anything and everything they want. The CIA carries out its own ops on foreign soil for cryin' out loud. Do you *really* want "Bush Nuke 'Em" to have control of this new and incredibly powerful toy?
• It breaks down your rights to privacy on a scale that is breathtaking. The Homeland Security Department (HSD) can legally track every American's credit card purchases and monitor and compile a database of our internet activities and emails. It gives law enforcement vastly expanded powers for tapping lines of communication without a warrant. And it does all this in direct violation of the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution.
• It establishes a Pentagon Department for generation of propaganda (lies) purportedly to mislead terrorist organizations about what's really going on in America. Of course, these cover stories will go out to the media, so how are we, Americans, going to know what's true and what isn't? I was under the impression that Communist and dictatorial regimes were the only ones that openly used propaganda departments.
• It postponed indefinitely the deadline for airports to implement measures to detect sophisticated weapons in baggage. No good reason was given.

Parting shot: in researching this, I came across a web site that declared Reagan to have been the greatest President of the last century. What a CROCK! Don't even get me started on the biggest award-winning puppet act in history....

Yesterday (1/6/03) the 49'ers "beat" the New York Giants when a clear interference call was overlooked by the officials. And now the whole frikkin' world is in an uproar. Look, guys, in a perfect world, Mariucci would have walked out to the officials and said, "Hey, y'know, you missed this call, and we want to win fair and square."

In a perfect world.

But this is the world where coaches are paid to win, not play well or fair, and bad officiating happens everywhere, to every team, at some point or another. I do think it's a measure of Mariucci's character that his response to the League's admission of a bad call was, "Bummer." Come on, Steve, show some good sportsmanship! At least offer the impossible, such as, "Hey, if I could, I'd put the team back in uniform and play it over, but as much as it just pains me to see this happen, that's the nature of football, such as it is." "Bummer" lacks a certain warmth and humanity, y'know?

On the other hand, don't be surprised if his cavalier attitude leads to bad officiating in an upcoming game that is less advantageous to the 49'ers....

Update, 1/12/03: The Niners flopped this weekend. Since the game mentioned above was so close, I can't believe that the Giants would have done much better. Case closed.

Update, 1/20/03: Mariucci got handed his walking papers. Maybe it was that big head that cost him his job, whattya think? Rumor has it he tried to leverage his way into having more power over the organization, and the head office basically slapped him back down. I'm tellin' ya, getting the team to the playoffs just doesn't have the juice it used to...