5/28/2007:   CNN had this video of Mitt Romney doing the utterly-useless-politician thing of bugging people in a restaurant, trying to appear as though he's enjoying their company by interjecting himself into their morning routine, irritating them with humorless jokes and small talk as TV cameras record every uncomfortable moment, when he accidentally foisted himself on the wrong individual.

A very elderly gentleman, when asked by Mitt how he was doing, bit back with, "I am one person who will not vote for a Mormon!"

Mitt replied, "Oh, is that right? Can I shake your hand anyway?"

The gentleman emphatically shot back, "No!"

And a stung Mitt said, "Okay," and chuckled stiffly as he turned to find a less-prepared victim.

I don't have anything against Mormons, although I wish they'd stop trying to personally overrun the earth with babies, but I have a deep dislike for Flipper Romney. He's about as reptilian as they get, and I got a real kick out of that old man sticking it to him on national television, even if I don't agree with his reason.

5/24/2007:   Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards voted against the bill that managed to squeak through Congress that allocated funds for the Iraq War with waivable benchmarks for withdrawal. And well they should. But the catch is, they waited until the eleventh hour to do so. They didn't stand up and speak out against it until after the vote, and they didn't take a public stand against it until it was clear it would pass anyway. Maybe I'm getting the wrong story, but it sounds like they could have been leaders, not followers, principled and outspoken, and they gave that opportunity a pass. It's a little depressing, honestly.

Look, I don't want to take too much away from them. At least their vote reflected the will of the people. But like a single "A" list actor trying to save a badly scripted, poorly produced, and tremendously overbudget movie, they alone cannot redeem the Democratic Party. In the first chance they had to really make an historic stand against the War Buffoon, they passed a single, symbolic bill that was vetoed, and then immediately caved in.

Personally, I was hoping for something more along the lines of a Trump maneuver, one where every successive bill would up the ante. The first bill had a pull-out timeline of August of 2008 and allocated more money than Bush had requested. If I was Ms. Pelosi, I'd have made it quite clear that I would publicly hang anyone not on board out to dry. I would consider those individuals that did not vote the party line to be expendable, and I would skewer them horrificly and with gusto. And every time Bush vetoed the bill, the next bill would have less money and a tighter deadline until the final bill would simply be a plan for Bush to repay the costs of the war out of his personal bank account and the troops would be flown home the next day. And I would go toe-to-toe with Bush any day of the week on every television station in the world.

You think we've got a constitutional crisis now? HAH! I'd get that sonofabitch in a headlock until he put pen to paper. It would be a UFC-style Oval Office smackdown. The congressional pages would be circled around me to ward off the Secret Service! It would be broadcast on Pay-per-View, with order proceeds going to rebuild the levees around New Orleans and merchandise profits going into paying for body armor for the troops until we can get them home. I'd serve up an hot, steaming, family size, extra crispy bucket of whoop-ass on that Monkey Faced Frat Boy!

Can you imagine the hits on the YouTube servers if Nancy Pelosi backhanded him across the kisser just one time on national television? Oh, I'd buy copies for myself and all my friends at Christmas time of the HD Blu-Ray DVD version with all the extras, commentary, interviews, and deleted scenes. I'd buy the t-shirt and the matching hat and coffee mug, too.

(Editor's note: You may be detecting a distinct lack of love for the president in this entry. This is normal. If symptoms of executive treason persist, please consult your voting registrar. Results may vary. Operators are standing by.)

Anyway... I've wandered far afield... Let's get back on topic, shall we?

Congress left its collective spine at home, in spite of the protests of people whose continued career growth depends on actually listening to the electorate and voting the will of the people. And don't even get me started on the AntiChrist's Towel Boy, Joe Liebermann. As such, I have decided that I will construct a "Spineless Award" and give the very first one, not to Jimmy Carter, who certainly deserves it after his surrender the other day, but to the United States Congress, for allowing their career ambitions and vacation plans get in the way of (most importantly) saving our soldiers lives as well as fighting terrorism effectively, salvaging our military strength, or restoring our standing in the international community.

5/24/2007:   For those who weren't aware of this, Al Qaeda's largest source of revenue is...

(wait for it...)

Iraq!! That's right, the civilian population in Iraq, having been reduced by 1 in 6, is putting its money where its mouth is when it says it wants the U.S. troops out of Iraq. People who have been personally injured or who have lost loved ones are contributing money to the biggest no-profit organization in the Middle East right now, Al Qaeda.

Meanwhile, Congress is trying to figure out how to cut off the funding for continuing the occupation of a country locked in a civil war, and they can't even embarrass Bush into doing the right thing.

5/24/2007:   Deonte Bradley beat down 91 year old Simms, a World War II veteran, as part of a carjacking. Deonte thought Simms was a 75 year old white man. He asked Mr. Simms for a light, then proceeded to punch him into a stupor. Mr. Simms, pinned up against another car by his own car door, finally fell to the ground when Bradley moved the door, and lay there, nearly being run over by Bradley as he took the vehicle. Mr. Simms is very light skinned, and it begs the question of whether perceived race played a part in the crime.

I think that Mr. Bradley should be asked the question, point blank in the court room, whether he would have committed the crime had he know that Mr. Simms was black. If he says no, the charges should have a special circumstance or hate crime qualifier appended.

Y'know, I was mugged once. There were four guys with weapons, and just one of me, and one guy had already punched me in the jaw before I realized what was happening. It's humiliating, violating, denigrating. The people committing these sorts of crimes are the lowest of cowards. I have no sympathy at all for Mr. Bradely, and I think he should be thrown away like the scumbag he is.

5/21/2007:   A quote: "I remember, when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's Circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit which I most desired to see was the one described as `The Boneless Wonder.' My parents judged that the spectacle would be too revolting and demoralizing for my youthful eyes, and I have waited 50 years to see the Boneless Wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench."

That was Winston Churchill in the 1930's, directing his Commons oratory at J. Ramsey MacDonald's Labor government. Today, I'd like to paraphrase it a bit, changing only the last line to, "I have waited 40 years to see the Boneless Wonder on television in the form of Jimmy Carter."

Jimmy made a fully justifiable claim on NBC's "Today" that George Bush's administration was the "worst in history" for its "adverse impact on the nation around the world." I applaud his position; If only he'd just stood by it.

But instead, when lambasted by Bush's administration, he cowtowed, folded, surrendered, backed down, pussed out, by saying something to the effect of, "Oh, I didn't mean the worst in history, just not as good as the Nixon administration." Oh come the hell on, Jimmy! Grow a frikkin' spine already! Maybe you did slip, maybe you meant to make a specific one-to-one comparison and accidentally voiced a popular catch phrase, but you didn't think enough of it at the time to correct it on the spot, so have the spine to stand by the words you left hanging there. It's not like "worst in history" is a subtle turn of phrase. Saying that someone is the most of anything "in history" is saying they've set a record, they've set the bar, they've challenged anyone following them to exceed the standard they've created. You uttered an extremely inflammatory statement, and you said it into a microphone in an interview to be seen around the world, and you didn't correct it, and you walked away from the interview without contradicting it. You thought enough of your character to expose your inner lusts to a nation that would have been perfectly happy without that knowledge, yet you don't think enough of your character to stand by such strong words.

I'm sorry, Mr. Carter, but I have to agree with the Bush administration. Your relevance on the national stage is all but gone. Perhaps you should stick with humanitarian causes. You certainly don't represent strength in the face of evil and adversity, and the new Democratic Party cannot afford to be seen as weak. We must show the nation and the world that we are the kind of intelligent strength that this nation needs, and that might must first spring from a thinking insightfulness and strength of character that together generate confidence in judgement without giving quarter to ignorant and prejudicial overconfidence. Your legacy as a foreign diplomat is stellar, but your record as a leader is severely lacking. The comparisons your presidency would draw would not be flattering, and, as we are so fond of saying, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Y'know, I've got a Spine Award that I give out occasionally, and in the spirit of keeping it positive, I've resisted creating a Spineless Award (probably a trophy with a jellyfish on it or something), but this may be the story that finally pushes me to create such an award. It's frustrating to have a man of Jimmy Carter's stature fold in the face of evil. We need more men like John Conyer and Harry Reid and women like Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer.

5/18/2007:   Falwell is dead, and if you're like me, you're probably closing your eyes, taking a deep, introspective breath, and thinking to yourself, "Okay, that's a good start..."

Finally consigned to the depths of hell, this schmuck, who used religion for power and personal gain, leaves us with a profound legacy:

Bye Jerry. Good riddance to bad trash, I say...