A while back I happened across a news group that dealt with pedophilia. What I expected to see was perhaps a support group for victims or something. What I found was entirely different. People were discussing the legality of marrying 11, 12, 13 yr. old children. Complaining about "harrassment" from law enforcement officials for having sex with the neighbors kids. Swapping fantasy stories about sex with children involving acts, described in infinite detail, which I won't sicken you with here.
On this news group there were the occasional outraged messages -- people doing the e-mail equivalent of screaming "pervert". I responded to one of the messages, one in which the writer had called the subscribers of the forum "pedophiles", posted for everyone in that news group to read. I told her that, unfortunately, she'd picked the wrong forum to go calling someone a pedophile. In these news forums that's like calling a programmer a hacker -- he'd thank you for the compliment.
The pedophile is incapable of the reasoning required to see that what they're doing is wrong. The child cannot possibly be sexually aware enough to understand what is happening or what is being asked them. They have no way of attaching meaning to the acts or of predetermining what emotional effect the relationship would have on them in the long run. Pedophiles see this innocence as sexually attractive without thinking through that the innocence is itself the reason for not attempting a relationship which can only mimic an adult relationship, that in fact the very act of using a child's innate trust to instigate sexual acts with a child, besides being a violation of that trust, corrupts that innocence.
Obviously a child will be curious when approached. Obviously they will have little or no real idea what the pedophile is suggesting. And that curiousity, that willingness, coupled with the reassurances and reinforcement from an adult, are translated in the pedophiles mind to mean acceptance and desire. For this reason pedophiles are often correctly termed predators, since the other person's innocent naivete and underdeveloped emotional tools for handling sexual situations inspires a sense of opportunism in the pedophile.
But don't take my word for it...
A very educational site. Be sure to read "profile of the molester".
A movement to find pedophiles that lure children via the Internet and stop them.
A "crusader" against the exploitation of children. Objective, educational.
A "mental health" description of pedophilia symptoms.
Report a pedophile and possibly receive a reward for information on alleged child abuse on the Net.
(NOTE: The first few items in the above list of URLs was borrowed from -- ready for this? -- a pedophile's web page. It was meant as a warning page for pedophiles, sort of a "who's who" of the enemies of people that prey on children. Pedophiles form their own networks, helping each other to avoid law enforcement officials and prosecution.)
Pedophiles. Are they sick? Most assuredly. Should they be stopped? For the emotional and psychological well-being of the world's children, absolutely.
A letter from someone who was molested as a child:
I appreciated your article on the damage pedophiles have on their victims. As a victim of such myself, I know firsthand the devastating effects. Yes, I have e-mailed many people advocating such behaviors. It's my hope you keep up your campaign. I need to point out one bit of information. A pedophile (true pedophile) is not "created" by his circumstances. It is a mental illness definable in the DSMRIII manual. A true pedophile can not be rehabilitated. A person who has been abused as a child may certainly repeat those actions in the future, but with treatment can put that behind him. Pedophiles can't. Not a big deal. Just thought you might enjoy a little clarification. Again, thanks for your stand. Together maybe we can rid the world of those who destroy lives in an effort to satisfy their own selfish wants. Patrick Phelps firstname.lastname@example.org
I want to thank Mr. Phelps for contributing that. When asking if I could add his letter to my page, I offered anonymity, which he declined. Mr. Phelps has my admiration and my best wishes.
What would I do if I came upon someone sexually molesting my sweet, beautiful, 3 year old daughter?Well, quite frankly, I'd kill that person. With my bare hands. I'd tell my daughter to go to the car and wait for me, telling her that I needed to talk to her new friend. And then, once she was out of sight, I'd murder that individual. If he ran, I'd chase him, hunt him down, with no limit to my endurance, my strength, my determination, until I caught him. I have no illusions about my mental and emotional limits when it comes to protecting my family, and I would kill that person without compunction, without remorse. In my eyes, I would not only be removing the threat to my own family, but to hundreds of other children. I would stand before the judge, I would admit that I had murdered that person, and I would ask for leniency given the context of the situation and the fact that I have a clear record. And I would gladly serve whatever time the court handed down, safe in the knowledge that one less predator is loose in the world.
Understand that I am not premeditating murder, nor am I advocating it. I simply know, knowing myself and my emotional responses, how I would react in that situation.
A while back I received a series of comments from someone named Vadime . Vadime feels that children are harmed more by TV violence than by sexual advances from adults.
Well, I believe that rather than by sexual relations, childs would be hurt by the violence on TV, stupid parents fighting each other all the day, scoolmates that beat them, drugs and so on. In fact, being a child I was hurt by several of above so deeply that I feel the trauma today.
Vadime did not feel that my views were realistic or factual, and asked that I point to some examples of children being harmed by sexual molestation.
I'm eager for having evidence, and especially REAL CASES, not just theory.
Would anyone who has had experience with sexual molestation, TV violence, and schoolyard bullies, please feel free to drop Vadime a line and give him a non-theoretical comparison of the damage caused by these childhood horrors? Thanks so much...
Ah, another pedophile has come knocking on my door. Seems they get real offended by this page. Well, as Harry S. Truman once said, "They think I'm giving them hell. I'm not giving them hell, I'm just telling the truth on them." And so a young man who goes by the (probably fictitious) name of Chris Smith has explained to me in often crude and colorful language that he believes that pedophilia is natural and wholesome, that kids need a little sexual attention from adults now and then (whether or not they're hurt by such attention is, in his words, "a matter of technique"), and that people of African descent are, by genetic design, criminally immoral and inferior. In his comments on gun control, his sentiment was that "Guns don't kill people. Niggers do."
I attempted to enlighten this individual, but to no avail. I finally asked him point blank what he thought his white-supremacist, good-ole-boy, "my-life-is-crap-let's-go-string-someone-up" friends would think of what he was doing to their kids. He avoided that question for some time before admitting that he wouldn't dare bring it up. Wonder why?
Please click here to send Chris Smith a message explaining to him that kids don't need some grown man molesting them. It's not natural, it's not wholesome, and that regardless of his "technique", he is scarring these kids for life.
Over the weekend, a friend of mine went to a softball game that was held in a local park. After the game, some of the kids of the parents playing in the game came running up. The kids, ranging in age from 6 to 12, told their parents that they had seen a man exposing himself in front of them and playing with his genitalia. The men got a quick description of the person from the kids, then ran over the hill to where the children had been playing. The man in question was not in sight, but after looking around the park, the sighted a man fitting the description. He saw the group, smiled and tipped his hat, then began running. They chased him, but he nearly eluded them. Just as they were about to catch him, the police arrived, apprehended the man, and took him into custody.
Now, if you're a pedophile, you may be thinking to yourself that this was just another pedophile being persecuted for his sexual orientation. Well, perhaps. But the next time you think that you're normal and just misunderstood, think about the reaction that this man got to his actions. The kids didn't like it and didn't think it was right. The parents probably would have stomped the life out of him if they'd gotten to him first. And the police arrested him. That's an awful lot of people with the exact same reaction to one person's actions. Society doesn't welcome that form of interaction, and even places a criminal value on it. No other form of sexual expression receives the same universal and instinctive reaction from the members of society. Sounds like the pedophile is not so "normal", doesn't it? Sounds to me like perhaps that pedophile should have kept his sexual expression within his own home and not afflicted others with it.
If you're not a pedophile, if you're a parent reading this, let this be a warning: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNSUPERVISED IN A PUBLIC PLACE. As sad as it is, sexual predators are out there, and no place is safe.