Todd's Views: Parking Tickets

First, I would like to take the opportunity to tell the cities of Oakland, San Francisco, and Burlingame to kiss my sweet, Southern born, grits fed, beat shakin', money makin', lookin'-good-in-Levis BUTT. These are the only places I've ever received parking violations. It's always a situation where either I'd be there for 5 minutes and I didn't have change, or it was because there was some weird time slot during which street cleaning was supposedly scheduled. Let me tell you something, San Francisco does NOT clean all of it's streets, and the ones that it does clean, it doesn't clean them every week like the sign says. Matter of fact, the street I recently got a ticket on most assuredly hasn't been cleaned in a couple of *years*!

A message to all the meter maids out there -- GET A REAL JOB! You morons!!! You poor loser, can't get a real job, McDonalds won't even hire you, MORONS! Pucker up and get to smoochin' my posterior! You people are leeches on the hairy mole on the backside of society. My guess is they reform former muggers by giving them work they can understand -- stealing money from hard-working honest citizens. And of course the element in our society with the latent criminal tendency, with the bitter "life's been hard on me" attitude, is going to jump at such a glowing opportunity to give all the people that have real lives a little annoying jab in the wallet. See a BMW? "Surely that guy got all he's got by walking on little crummy people like me! I'll give his car a ticket!" You LOSER! You
no-high-school-diploma,
scooter-driving,
couldn't-get-a-date-if-you-paid-for-one,
wish-I-could-be-a-real-cop
but-I-couldn't-hack-the-academy
and-they-wouldn't-trust-me-with-a-gun
LOSER!!!!